A Simple Teddy Bear

I have to share a pretty remarkable story from school this week that touched my heart. It is one of the experiences that keeps me coming back. It has meant a lot to me and I hope other educators benefit from the story as well.

The story begins with Red Ribbon Week. As you know, this is the week we encourage students to pledge to be drug free. Each day has a theme that allows students to participate via their dress or actions. There was backwards day, team day, bring in canned foods day, bright clothing day, and pajama day. Throughout the week, my principal and myself did our best to participate. Our thinking was to enthusiastically set the tone for the entire school to show school spirit and participate in this wonderful event. It took stepping out a little, but we thoroughly enjoyed participating.

Pajama Day posed a challenge. I personally do not own pajamas that can also pass for assistant principal attire. My idea for participating was to borrow one of my childrens' teddy bears to use as a prop. Borrowing a teddy bear turned into a larger challenge than I originally envisioned. I got caught red-handed by my 2 year-old, Olivia, snagging one of her teddy bears. Olivia naturally wanted this teddy bear upon seeing me pick it up out of the corner of her room. She was not having it. I had to give it back to her and continue about getting ready for work. I  waited her out. She went back to watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. She lost focus and laid Teddy down. Like a ninja, I jumped into action, scooped up Teddy, and placed him in my work bag. All was good. Mission complete. Not so fast....my usually unaware 6th grader happens to see Teddy hanging out in dad's work bag and decides to return it to his darling, younger sister. At this point, I am trying to walk out the door to begin carpools and drop-offs. I ask Olivia if I can borrow Teddy and she says no (her favorite word). At this point I did not want to accept defeat. I still wanted to participate in PJ Day. There was only one way to make it work. I had to call in my wife for back-up. She stepped up like a champ. She quickly assessed the situation, bit the bullet, snatched Teddy from Olivia's grasp, and handed it to me. At this point, Olivia screams like a banshee. She screamed exactly like she did when she got her flu shot last Saturday. This was a fairly traumatic way to leave in the morning. It was pretty tough seeing her so distraught as I left. Long story short, I called to check on her and she had made a remarkable recovery within 2 minutes.

I greet the students at the bus lot as the bell rings. They are all wearing their pajamas. They think it is pretty cool that their assistant principal is carrying a teddy bear. Teddy is asked to give out a few hugs to kindergarten students and 1st graders. Teddy was a hit and he allowed me to participate in pajama day. It was worth the early morning drama. Then something unexpected happened.

One of my most tough, unique, and challenging 5th graders approaches me at breakfast and very earnestly asks to hold Teddy. For this blog, we will call him Freddy. At first I was defensive. I thought Freddy was being funny. I just knew this was leading somewhere inappropriate. In my mind Teddy was either going to lose his head, or "bear" minimum, learn some risky dance moves. Freddy assured me that he was serious, that he just wanted to hold on to him for the day. I explained the origins of the teddy bear. I told him who it belonged to and even the challenging story of the morning. Freddy genuinely wanted this bear. I gave in. I explained to him that I was going to walk around the school with him for a bit but that I would stop by his classroom and see if I could work something out with his teachers.

About 30 minutes later, I stop in and ask his teacher how Freddy was doing. After receiving a positive report I sat Teddy on the desk of Freddy. In a comical way, I address Teddy. I ask him to keep an eye on Freddy and to report any problems directly to me. As I walked out the door, I could already see the smile on Freddy's face. Throughout the day, I stopped by to check in on Freddy and Teddy. Each time I simply saw him holding Teddy while he was working or Freddy working with Teddy sitting on his desk. I asked his teachers how it was going and made sure that my intention was for Teddy not to be an incentive for Freddy to interrupt class. All three of his teachers assured me that it had not been a problem and that it actually seemed to help.

I went along my day. I did my normal assistant principal duties. No one seemed to mind too much that my participation in pajama day was non existent. We dismiss around 4:00. At 3:15. I stopped by Freddy's room to pick up Teddy so I could return it to my feisty two-year old. I was met with resistance. Freddy begged me to let me keep him until the end of the day. I am a softy so I agreed. "Fine, just hand him to me as you get on the bus." This made Freddy happy. Sure enough, before he loaded his bus Freddy came up to me and handed me Teddy. He noted that he didn't mess with him and thanked me.

On my way back from bus duty I reflected back on the whole incident and was floored. I could not believe the impact that this Teddy Bear had on my tough, sometimes-ornery 5th grader. I remarked to my principal on how much it seemed to mean to him. I described how he had held that Teddy Bear as if he was holding a baby brother or something else that was precious to him. I went home and shared the story with my wife (a fellow educator). The story soon touched her as much as it had touched me.

It was then that a wonderful plan was hatched. My wife handed me Teddy and said "you are taking this bear back to that school and giving him to that boy." This was not a question or a suggestion. This was going to happen. She explained that we had plenty of teddy bears and that the girls would never miss this one. We talked about how he might not have ever had a teddy bear before. The thought of a child not having a teddy bear is both inconceivable and unfortunately likely at the same time. The decision was made. Freddy would be receiving a present the next day at school. My wife carefully wrapped Teddy for Freddy and I wrote the following note:

Freddy,
Please accept this gift as a reminder that you are an exceptional, young man. You have people here at Micro Elementary who believe in you and know you will go on to do great things. Please take care of Teddy and always remember that you can do anything that you choose to do.
Sincerely,
Mr. Parrish

The next day, Freddy came to the office at an opportune time. I invited him in my office. On my desk sat his present. He sits down and clearly doesn't think the present it is for him. I tell him that the present is his. He reaches into the bag, sees what is inside, and broadly smiles. He makes a comment about having taking care of the bear yesterday and not messing it up. I told him that I knew he took good care of him and that "Teddy is yours now." He reaches further into the bag and reads my note. After a short pause, he coolly says, "thank you." The look on his face also said how appreciative he was. Freddy received a gift, but so did I.

I am as proud of this moment of any other thing I have ever done in my educational career. I believe in this moment I created a positive memory that will out live me. With the help of my wife and my two-year old, on this day, I made a difference.